Boosting Your Self-Esteem - Improving the Way You Feel About Yourself

"Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."
- Nathaniel Branden
Leading self-esteem researcher and theorist

Improving self-esteem is a very personal journey. It's a key part of feeling happy within ourselves, and of feeling that we're succeeding in the things that matter to us.

Positive self-esteem helps you to be yourself, handle adversity, and believe that you'll win through, despite setbacks. It's an inner force that sustains you, and gives you the courage you need to be the person you want to be.

Low self-esteem, on the other hand, does the opposite. It's connected to self-doubt, and to a general feeling that you're not quite good enough to meet life's challenges. If you have low self-esteem, you may believe that you aren't capable of achieving your dreams, and you may even believe that you shouldn't dream at all. In fact, low self-esteem is used to diagnose many mental disorders, and it can be associated with to a variety of negative emotions, including anxiety, sadness, hostility, shame, embarrassment, loneliness and lack of spontaneity.

What Is Self-Esteem?
You're probably familiar with the idea of self-esteem. It's most often associated with self-confidence, but self-esteem is more than just confidence – it goes deeper. In fact, some people argue that you can have self-confidence and still have low self-esteem – most notably if you approach life with a "fake it ‘til you make it" attitude (in other words, "pretend" until you succeed).

Healthy self-esteem doesn't involve faking anything. And although there's significant debate over the definition of self-esteem, a leading theory is that it's a combination of two factors: competence and worthiness.

Other models have focused on one of these factors or the other. However, it's the relationship between the two that provides the best description. Nathaniel Branden says the following in his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem":

Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living.

Competence and Worthiness
The competence element of self-esteem deals with how far you believe that you have the skills and abilities you need to succeed in areas that matter to you.

This isn't generalized success, or even a general sense of competence. It's specific to areas of your life that are particularly important to you. For example, if you can sing and dance and entertain a crowd like no one else, that won't contribute to positive self-esteem if what you really value is academic success. Likewise, if you rise to the top of your profession, but you're not proud of that profession, it's unlikely that it will help your sense of self-esteem much.

It's this idea of "value" that brings us to the other element of self-esteem: worthiness. This is where you express your overall evaluation of yourself. It's based on your values, and on whether you routinely behave in a way that is consistent with these values. Together, these factors influence whether you believe you're "good enough", and whether you like and respect the person you are.

By combining competence and worthiness, and by looking at how they relate to each other, we get a full and dynamic definition of self-esteem. Just feeling good about yourself isn't self-esteem. There has to be a competence element, so that your behaviors result in positive actions, not destructive ones. Too great a sense of worthiness can lead to conceit, and even narcissism. Healthy self-esteem keeps those things in balance.

Improving Self-Esteem
Now that you know what self-esteem is, you're in a better position to improve yours in a robust and balanced way.

Here are some tips for improving your self-esteem:

Think about yourself positively – The only person who can change your view of yourself is you! No one else can give you self-esteem – you have to build it by thinking about and using all of the positive things in your life. Make sure that you get into the habit of positive thinking, and learn how to detect and defeat patterns of self-sabotage. And be your own best cheerleader and supporter!

Take pride in your accomplishments – When you do something well, celebrate it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you how wonderful you are. Tell yourself!

Set goals – The more successes you achieve, the better you'll feel about yourself. Goal setting is a great technique for targeting, tracking and recognizing success. It helps you to build competence and, from this, build a sense of pride and a feeling of worthiness. Make sure that you embrace goal setting!

Be consistent – You improve self-esteem when you act in ways that are consistent with your values. If you find yourself in a compromising or difficult situation, do all that you can to make a decision that is consistent with these values. Achieve your goals with integrity, and don't undermine your self-esteem by cheating, or acting in a dishonest way.

Remember that you aren't perfect – Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's often OK, just as long as we learn from them. The only person's standards you have to meet are your own: stop worrying about what others think, and focus on the great things about yourself. If you do, your inner confidence will shine through, and more than compensate for any shortcomings you might have.

Look after your physical self – Being active can improve self-esteem. Activities that improve your overall health help you feel more in control, and give you a sense of satisfaction that carries though to other areas of your life.

Key Points
The way you feel about yourself is key to self-esteem. You're the one in control, and you can make a difference. If you like yourself, and believe that you deserve good things in life, you'll have high self-esteem. If you dislike yourself or criticize yourself excessively, you'll have low sense of self-esteem.

Having healthy self-esteem is important because it helps you get through life's challenges and achieve the things that matter most to you. As such, make a commitment to yourself to value what you do and who you are!

For your Success & Glory!

How To Improve Your Study Habits

30 Tips Guide for all Students
1. Start by keeping a priority assignment notebook or to-do journal.
2. Keep a notebook for all of your school subjects, bring it to class and update it often.
3. Attend your classes.
4. Listen attentively to your teacher, and participating classmates.
5. Ask questions in class if there is a need to clarify some points.
6. Listen well in class, and don’t allow problems to distract you.
7. Keep your attention focused on the subject.
8. Take class notes.
9. Have a note-taking system.
10. Have a private shorthand system for taking notes.
11. Study effectively. Have sufficient study materials to help you.
12. Read. Underline your textbooks.
13. Look up new words in the dictionary.
14. Read even tables, charts, and graphs.
15. Research in the library. Use the (card) catalogue.
16. Organize your notes before writing a paper.
17. When making papers, do a first draft.
18. Proofread for spelling and punctuation errors.
19. Submit all of your assignments.
20. Prepare well for tests and exams.
21. Keep a long term calendar of scheduled tests, reports, projects, and other school activities.
22. Also study on a regular basis.
23. Follow a daily schedule. Have a regular place to work and study.
24. Study with your friends.
25. Try to always learn in school. Always make use of your mind.
26. Also take care of your body. Eat healthy meals.
27. Get seven to eight hours of sleep each night.
28. Reward yourself with R & R, rest, relaxation, recreation.
29. Keep track of you progress.
30. Constantly improve your study habits. Make adjustments or improvements on any or all of the suggestions above.

You can improve your study skills, and eventually, improve your grades.

Read, Learn & Flourish!

How to Prepare for Exams?

Exams can be a dreaded word, especially if you’re teaching to high school students. Students’ notion of exam is memorization, comprehension and pressure. So this time around, aside from teaching them lessons that they will be quizzed on, why not impart several nuggets of wisdom on how to prepare for exams? After all, exams do not end in high school. And the better adjusted they are to the concept of exams, the better the grades they’ll get.

Set realistic expectations and goals
Not everyone is an honor student, so expecting to jump a year level or two overnight is just a road to disappointment. Improving grades by doing well on exams should be set over a realistic time period. This way, the student is in control and is motivated.

Goals can be set with to-do lists, priority lists, notes on monthly calendars. But the fact that students have goals will not be worth anything if they are not achieved. Try to get them to write their goals in these broad categories: career, family, health, finances, intellectual, and hobbies, among others. This way, all the things they do can fall into one big picture.

Take a break
In Stephen Covey's book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, he wrote that people should sharpen their saws. It refers to a story of someone meeting a guy in the woods trying to cut down a tree with a saw. The guy asked the woodcutter to take a break and sharpen the saw so it would go faster, but the woodcutter replied that he had been cutting for five hours. He didn’t have time to sharpen his saw!

Stress gets relieved with exercise, when the body gets an influx of endorphins. In order to stay motivated and alert, students should do enjoyable exercises, get proper rest and eat properly. This could also serve as the much-needed break of the mind and body from stressful situations (like cramming for exams). Taking time to recharge physically and emotionally increases productivity.

Prepare in advance
Cramming is not the answer to most exams, and so does the myth that facts stick easier to the brain if studying is done on the day of the exam. Preparing in advance is much more effective, and makes the student more confident in taking the exam. This is because there was time allotted for background research, perusal the school’s exam databases for past exams on the subject, and total comprehension of the issues raised in the lessons.

Get rid of barriers
The biggest barrier is procrastination, and the best way to overcome it is the “Swiss Cheese Method.” It means dividing things to do into smaller chunks (ex. 15 minute tasks) with rewards at the end of the task. This helps students and even you to focus on one issue at a time.

The next biggest barrier is interruptions. If there are phone calls, visits and other problems to deal with, just leave the premises, and fit them into another schedule. Lastly, the third barrier is stress. Did you know that 75% of all worries never happen, but stressing over them can waste so many hours?

The best way to get rid of these barriers is to manage time properly. Make it into a habit, and see the concrete improvements in the students’ academic and overall performance.

Nurture yourself
Nurture the greatest asset your students have—themselves. To be an effective student, an effective time manager, they should enhance not just the physical and mental dimensions of their lives, but also the social/emotional and the spiritual.

Light reading is better than watching television, as it integrates academic issues into real life situations. Develop good communication with friends and family. Engage into activities and pursuits that can make students find out more about themselves. Discover spirituality so there will be a core in their lives.

These things, if taken seriously, can be beneficial to students in the long run. Achievement does not come with just a snap of the fingers. So never give up!

CBSE's New Grading Sysatem for class X

HOW CBSE’S GRADING SYSTEM WILL WORK?

THE NEW ORDER
With Board exams being made optional from the academic year 2010-11, a new system of evaluation – Continuous and Comprehensive Evaluation (CCE) – based on grades has been approved. It comprises formative and summative assessment of the student to be done over two terms – first and second -during the year-long academic calendar.

Summative Assessment Based on the term-end examination
1) There will be two evaluations each in the first and second terms.
2) Each evaluation will carry 10 marks apiece.

Formative Assessment To evaluate and grade class work, homework, assignment and project work
1) There will be one term-end exam for each term.
2) The first term-end exam will carry 20 marks.
3) The second term-end exam will carry 40 marks.

EVALUATIONStudents of class IX and X will be evaluated on a 9-point grading system. Each grade, given on the basis of both formative and summative assessments, will correspond to a range of marks as indicated below:
A1 95 and above
A2 90 to 94
A3 85 to 89
B1 80 to 84
B2 70 to 79
C1 60 to 69
C2 50 to 59
C3 33 to 49
D Less than 33

Points to Remember:
(i) Assessment of theory/practical papers in external subjects shall be in numerical scores.In addition to numerical scores, the Board shall indicate grades in the marks sheets issued to the candidates in case of subjects of external examinations. In case of internal assessment subjects, only grades shall be shown.

(ii) Subjects of internal examination in Class X the assessment shall be made on a five point scale I.e. A,B,C,D & E.

(iii) The grades shall be derived from scores in case of subjects of external examination. In case of subjects of internal assessment, they shall be awarded by the schools.

(iv) The qualifying marks in each subject of external examination shall be 33% . However at Senior School Certificate Examination, in a subject involving practical work, a candidate must obtain 33% marks in the theory and 33% marks in the practical separately in addition to 33% marks in aggregate, in order to qualify in that subject.

(v) For awarding the grades, the Board shall put all the passed students in a rank order and will award grades as follows:

• A1 : Top 1/8th of the passed candidates
• A2 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• B1 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• B2 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• C1 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• C2 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• D1 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• D2 : Next 1/8th of the passed candidates
• E : Failed candidates

Important:
(a) In case of a tie, all the students getting the same score, will get the same grade. If the number of students at a score point needs to be divided into two segments, the smaller segment will go with the larger.

(b) Method of grading will be used in subjects where the number of candidates who have passed is more than 500.

(c) In respect of subjects where total number of candidates passing in a subject is less than 500, the grading would be adopted on the pattern of grading and distribution in other similar subjects.

Memorising

By C. Radhakrishnan

Dear students, I know very well one question that haunts you all the time ‘how can I memorise whatever I learned for the next exam’. Here are some ways that might help you memorise:
• Decide to remember.
• Take regular breaks.
• Review notes regularly: after an hour, after a day, after a week, after a month, and so on. (You need an excellent time schedule to make sure that this happens, but it is extremely effective.)
• Use multisensory memories, i.e. remember using as many representations as you can.
• Generate visual images that involve moving, interaction, and colour.
• Use the same background music to review as when you learned, and perhaps associate particular music with particular topics.
• Organise meaningfully using key words.
• Look briefly at a mind map, then put it away and try to recreate it. Repeat until you can reproduce it perfectly.
• Use flash cards with the key content on them.
• Use higher-order mind maps to connect individual mind maps together.
• Review at bedtime.
• Number points.
• Over learn, i.e. learn beyond the point at which you have complete recall.
• Compress the amount of material by chunking and using keywords.

Make you know and feel
There is no need to tell time and again, self-confidence is the key to success in any aspect of human life and it is very true even in memorisation. Demonstrating to yourself that you really do understand and remember can increase your confidence that your learning is really working. Teaching someone else, or writing mock or practice assignments and tests, can be useful here.

Reviewing and reflecting on the learning process
After every learning session, review the process you followed. What worked, what didn't, what would you do differently next time. Do the same thing at the end of each week, after each assignment, and after each test. Make notes of what you've learned about learning, and use them to improve your next learning session.

If you have any other successful tool to memorise please let me know.

What makes a good learner?

A good learner is........

an active listener
willing to voice their opinions
questioning
open-minded
positive
enthusiastic
determined
adaptable
shows initiative
prepared to learn from their mistakes.

How Can I Draw Up An Effective Revision Timetable?

Plan your revision carefully. The following top 10 tips should help:

1. Divide your time into subjects.

2. Consult your lesson notes and the syllabus for each course to make sure you cover all the necessary topics. Ask your teachers for advice if necessary.

3. Consult your exam timetable. You will have longer to revise for some exams than others so plan accordingly.

4. Be sure to include any revision sessions that you’d like to attend at school. Many departments are running revision classes during study leave and “booster” sessions immediately before the exams. Ask your teachers.

5. Reflect upon your strengths and weaknesses and allot time accordingly e.g. give more time to topics you find tricky.

6. Are you at your best in the mornings, afternoons or evenings? It may be best to put the most challenging topics at these times.

7. Vary your timetable. Don't plan to spend all morning on one subject. An hour per subject is fine.

8. Plan in “blanks” which can be used when things don’t go according to plan.

9. Do allow yourself mini-breaks between sessions and quality relaxation time.

10. Be prepared to update your timetable as your revision progresses. So don't spend hours colouring it in or making it look great on the computer!

Which Revision Strategies Will Work Best For Me?

1. The more you DO with the information you have to learn the more you will understand and remember it.
2. Focus on the methods listed under your preferred learning style.
3. However, remember that it is important to use a variety of approaches – VA and K.
4. Ask your teacher for help if necessary e.g. to recommend suitable websites, to explain something once more, for a missing worksheet.

School Counselors Help You Cope

School counselors know how to listen and help. They’ll take your problem seriously and work with you to find a good solution. School counselors are trained to help with everything — and it doesn’t have to be just school stuff. A counselor can help you deal with the sadness when someone has died as well as advise you on taking the right classes to get into your dream college.

It takes a lot of training to be a school counselor. Most not only have college degrees but also master’s degrees, as well as special training and certification in counseling. One of the many good things about school counselors is that they are up-to-date on all the top things that affect students, including any trends that might affect your school.

School counselors can give you all sorts of tips and support on solving problems and making good decisions. Chances are that whatever problem you have, your counselor has seen it before — and has lots of good advice on how to help you work through it. Counselors can give you tips on standing up for yourself if you’re being bullied, managing stress, talking to your parents, and dealing with anger and other difficult moods. Counselors also can advise you on problems you may have with a teacher, such as communication difficulties or questions over grades.

School counselors are plugged in to the rest of the school community and, in many cases, the outside community as well. So they can refer students to outside resources like substance abuse treatment centers, professional therapists, and even health clinics.

It can help to know the different types of support your counselor offers — even if you don’t think you need it now. Some schools and school districts use their websites to explain what the counselor does and how to get a counseling appointment. You may find their services listed under headings like “student resources,” ” student services,” or “student counseling.”

Your school’s website may also explain the roles of other school staff members who can help students with problems or school issues. Depending on the size of your school, these people may include school psychologists, tutors, college or career counselors, and school nurses. The counselor’s role varies from school to school and district to district, so don’t assume your counselor provides the same services as the counselor in a friend’s school.

How Do I See the Counselor?
You may have been assigned a counselor when you started the school year. Or your school may leave it up to you to go to the counseling office on your own. A counselor might also visit your class to talk about certain subjects and let you know when he or she is available. In some schools, teachers or school nurses refer students to counselors if they think there’s something the student needs to work through. Different schools have different policies on putting students in touch with counselors.

Your school’s website, administrator’s office, or a trusted teacher can also tell you how to contact the counselor for an appointment. In many schools, there’s a guidance secretary who coordinates appointments. Many counselors are willing to meet with students at times that fit into the student’s schedule — such as before or after school or during lunch.

It’s probably a good idea to visit your counselor and get to know him or her even if you don’t have a problem. This helps you feel comfortable with the counselor in case you ever do need to meet in a time of crisis. It’s usually easier to talk about a tough issue or a problem when you already feel comfortable with the counselor. Meeting your counselor when you’re not in the middle of a crisis also gives you a chance to discuss such issues as what the counselor will keep confidential and how he or she works with a student to resolve a problem.

Student-Counselor Meetings
Counselors meet with students individually or in small groups. The most common setting for most students is a private meeting just between the student and the counselor. Most school counselors have offices where you can sit down and talk.

You don’t need to know exactly what’s bothering you when you talk with the school counselor. It’s perfectly OK just to make an appointment because you’re feeling bad or not doing as well in school as you’d like. It’s the school counselor’s job to help people figure out what’s going on. In fact, it’s often better to see your counselor as soon as you know something’s up, even if you don’t know what the trouble is. Chances are you’ll be able to solve a problem faster when you have the skill and resources of the counselor behind you.

How often you meet with your counselor depends on the issue. Some concerns are dealt with in a one-time meeting. Others require regular meetings for a while. It all depends on the topic at hand and the plan that you and your counselor decide on.

Counselors also sometimes meet students in groups. Group meetings can really help people who are dealing with similar issues, such as a divorce. In these group settings, people can share their feelings and learn coping skills. Not only do you get great ideas in a group setting, but it can also help to know that other students are going through the same thing and that they understand.

Counselors often come into the classroom, too, to teach a class on a subject that affects everyone, such as good study skills.

Sometimes the counselor might meet with you and a teacher or you and a parent — especially if the teacher or your parent has asked for the meeting.

How Confidential Is It?
When you meet privately with a school counselor, your conversation will most likely be confidential. The counselor isn’t going to go blabbing your business around school. Different schools have different policies, though. So talk directly with your counselor about what he or she considers confidential.
In very rare cases, a counselor is unable to keep information confidential. A counselor who thinks that someone is at risk of being harmed is required by law to share that information. Even in these rare cases, the counselor will share that information only with the people who need to know.

People sometimes worry that other students will think they’re seeing the counselor because they have major problems or they’re in trouble. But in most schools the counselor deals with lots of school issues — as well as personal ones. So you could be meeting to get career counseling or advice on which classes to take for college. Your friends and classmates don’t need to know why you’re seeing the counselor unless you choose to tell them.

Your school counselor is someone who is separate from your life — a neutral adult who isn’t a parent, relative, or teacher. Your school counselor isn’t a therapist. (So if you see your counselor, it’s not the same as getting therapy.) If you need help in some way that the school counselor can’t provide, he or she can give you information about other resources, such as the name of a therapist.

No matter what your problem, try to think of the counselor as someone who’s on your side. Even if you’ve had a bad experience in the past with another counselor or a private therapist, don’t hesitate to contact your school counselor — or talk to the counseling office about seeing someone else if you don’t click with your current counselor. Every counselor is different, and most understand that it’s natural for people to be more comfortable with some individuals than others.

Don’t be surprised if your parents know your school counselor. They may even be in touch with each other. Sometimes counselors offer workshops for parents, with or without their kids, about topics such as study skills or preventing drug abuse. It’s good for the counselor and your parents to know each other when everything is going OK. That way, if any problems come up — like if you’re being bullied or there’s a death in the family and you have to be out of school — they’ll be able to work together comfortably.

If you’re seeing your counselor and your parents don’t know about it, don’t worry that the counselor will talk to them about your meetings. Unless you’ve given the counselor the feeling that you may harm yourself or others, what’s said in your meetings will stay just between you and the counselor.

School counselors are all about helping to make your school experience the best it can be. The role of the school counselor today is very different from what it was like when your parents were in school. Instead of just focusing on schoolwork and careers, today’s counselors are there for students in a broader way. They help students handle almost any problem that might get in the way of learning, guide students to productive futures, and try to create a positive environment for everyone at school. So if you need a counselor’s advice, just ask!